


and this sucks and i feel it coming for me (i'd like to quit all this pretending)

by nowimaidan



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempted To Get Kidnapped, Blood, But only a little, Crack Treated Seriously, Demons, Fae & Fairies, Ghosts, Implied/Referenced Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kidnapping, Logan Is Tired Of Virgil's Shenanigans, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Misgendering, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Q word, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Vampires, also feel free to ask me to tag, and talks to ghosts, because virgil hangs out in graveyards, graveyard, just lots of supernatural and mythological shenanigans, minor anger management issues, oh dear this got even more out of hand while i was editing the chapter, oh dear this got out of hand, temporarily unsympathetic deceit sanders, used towards himself no worries, who becomes friend shaped
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-19 06:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22139776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowimaidan/pseuds/nowimaidan
Summary: Virgil is 100% down for joining the Fae or entering another realm of existence. Either works.Unfortunately for him, no one else is down for that.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 24
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> fic title from "sometimes" by anthony amorim
> 
> this fic started off as me thinking about how virgil would absolutely stand in the fairy circles in my backyard, dance a jig, and yell "wouldn't it be a _shame_ if some _wildly handsome fae_ carried me off into the woods... wouldn't it be _absolutely terrible_ if i got transported to limbo... wouldn't that just be the _worst_ " and then writing it while i aggressively project onto virgil
> 
> i tagged analogical because that's definitely an end-game ship; however, for the time being its mostly "if-you-squint" type stuff. i'm hopefully gonna figure out how to write romance properly soon and it'll get super gay.
> 
> this is also my first sanders sides fic, haha.
> 
> also, if you come across any mistakes or things you think need to be tagged but i didn't tag, feel free to let me know! i do try to keep relevant warnings in authors notes as well, but i'm not perfect and i sometimes overlook things that i should have thought of.
> 
> warnings for chapter 1: implied death (virgil hangs out in graveyards and talks to ghosts), attempts to get kidnapped, implied/referenced suicide, thinking about suicide, a little bit of blood, minor violence, temporarily unsympathetic deceit (i swear he gets better but for now he's only there for about 20 seconds and doesn't really have time to explain himself), uhh?? i think that's it??

> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 9:32 PM_
> 
> gonna go tempt the fae lmao
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:32 PM_
> 
> Have fun.
> 
> Wait, are you serious?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - today at 9:41 PM_
> 
> [Image of a circle of fly agaric mushrooms around one of Virgil's black high-tops.]
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:44 PM_
> 
> Virgil, no.
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 9:48 PM_
> 
> virgil yes
> 
> stop messaging me its scaring away the fae
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:48 PM_
> 
> Where are you?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - today at 9:49 PM_
> 
> my parents house lmao this place is littered with the supernatural
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:49 PM_
> 
> I don't know whether I should be more concerned that you're messing with the Fae or that you were traveling at over 100 miles per hour for a significant portion of that.
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:57 PM_
> 
> If you haven't responded in half an hour, I'm telling your parents.
> 
> _Data - Today at 10:02 PM_
> 
> Virgil?

* * *

Virgil had no real idea of what you needed to do to get taken by the Fae, but he knew if you stood in a fairy ring long enough, _something_ was supposed to happen.

"My name is Virgil!" he yelled, dancing a bit for good measure.

Nothing happened.

"Virgil Sutton?"

Still nothing happened.

"Gee, sure would be a shame if some wildly beautiful Fae showed up and whisked me away!"

Something moved in the brushline.

"Hello!"

A coyote with red eyes emerged… and stared.

"Hello," Virgil repeated, quieter this time.

It growled at him and jumped forward, which startled the young man right out of the fairy ring.

When he looked up, the coyote was gone.

* * *

> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 10:12 PM_
> 
> bold of you to assume they arent supportive of this habit
> 
> _Data - Today at 10:13 PM_
> 
> Oh, thank goodness.
> 
> No success?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 10:13 PM_
> 
> nah i saw a cool coyote tho it had red eyes
> 
> _Data - Today at 10:14 PM_
> 
> I've never seen a coyote in person before, but don't they have yellow eyes?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 10:15 PM_
> 
> oh my fucking god
> 
> logan
> 
> it had red eyes
> 
> coyotes have yellow eyes
> 
> *and there wasnt enough light to reflect off its eyes anyway*
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - today at 10:19 PM_
> 
> i cant believe i missed the fae because i was too dumb to remember that coyotes have YELLOW eyes
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - today at 10:25 PM_
> 
> can you let me in
> 
> please
> 
> i forgot my key
> 
> logan
> 
> logan
> 
> please
> 
> logan
> 
> logan
> 
> logan
> 
> let me in
> 
> [GIF of Eric Andre banging on a wall, yelling "Let me in!"]
> 
> logan
> 
> logan please
> 
> _Data - Today at 10:26 PM_
> 
> No.
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 10:26 PM_
> 
> please
> 
> logan
> 
> logan
> 
> logan
> 
> logan please
> 
> _Data - Today at 10:26 PM_
> 
> This is what you get for trying to get kidnapped by faeries and speeding.

* * *

While Logan, Remy, and Emile talked about something Virgil really knew nothing about, he glanced at the tables in the basement.

 _I wonder if I could lift one of those,_ he wondered. A quick glance at the others confirmed that they were paying no mind to him.

He set down his cola, stalked toward the table, and prepared to lift… a significantly heavier table than he lifted. Virgil almost stumbled back as Logan yelled, "Virgil, put the table down!"

For some reason, Virgil giggled.

"Put it down _now!_ " Logan restated, so the emo twink put the table down. "Now, to bed with you."

"No!" he protested, knowing he sounded exactly like a small child and not caring that much. He was getting attention! And he wasn't getting _too much_ attention!

"We _will_ carry you," Emile announced as Remy approached.

"I'm not going! You can't make me!" Virgil made a grab for his cola, but Logan was faster.

"Bed. Now."

Virgil giggled and t-posed as Remy hoisted him by the waist. Once he and Emile got a grip on Virgil (they knew he was thin, but _damn,_ was he even eating? The kid needed some food), they carried him and unceremoniously dumped him on his bed in the dorm room.

"Now stay there and go to sleep!" Remy half-shouted as he sashayed out, Emile in tow.

"You better be there when I get back," Logan stated.

When he returned, Virgil was wide awake and sitting up.

"Go to bed."

"How do you summon a ghost?"

"What?"

"Like, if I went to a graveyard. And tried to summon a ghost. How would I do that?"

"Virgil, no."

"What's the point of having salt if I never need to use it?"

"Go to bed."

After a bit of fuss, Virgil finally went to sleep.

* * *

The idea didn't leave his mind, though, and Logan rolled his eyes as he got a message.

> _Data - Today at 11:43 PM_
> 
> Virgil? Where are you?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 11:44 PM_
> 
> lookin for a graveyard
> 
> theres a city full of people and none of them are dead??
> 
> sounds fake but ok
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:44 PM_
> 
> Let me get this straight.
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 11:45 PM_
> 
> you say that as if either of us are
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:46 PM_
> 
> You are wandering the streets and hoping to stumble upon a graveyard instead of simply looking for one on Google Maps?
> 
> Foolish notion of summoning a ghost aside, you are going about it quite inefficiently.
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 11:47 PM_
> 
> …
> 
> found a graveyard
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:47 PM_
> 
> Have you ever considered that this might be a bad idea?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 11:48 PM_
> 
> have you ever considered that maybe i know that
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:48 PM_
> 
> That would imply you are intentionally engaging in dangerous and potentially destructive activities rather than engaging in them out of naivety or ignorance.
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:49 PM_
> 
> That is not why you are doing these things, correct?
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:52 PM_
> 
> Virgil?

* * *

_That is not why you are doing these things, correct?_

Well... It wasn't like Virgil was trying to kill himself or anything, y'know?

Life was just… hard. Peopling was hard. Existing was hard. The world was on its way to ending, the political state was in shambles, and it was a shock society hadn't collapsed yet.

So what if he'd rather spend the rest of his life trapped, dancing with the Fae, or in limbo with the rest of the poor, unfortunate souls? So what if he spent more time fantasizing about what could be than what reality was? So what if he wasn't exactly attached to this realm?

He'd grown up around the supernatural; bumping into a stray ghost was as normal to him as running into a dog near the college, and attributing anything too weird to magic was his default response. Maybe he was just making friends with the neighbours.

And maybe move in with them.

But not in a want-to-die way. Just in a let's-escape-the-world way.

As he sat in the tree in the graveyard, he wondered if Logan knew a better way to intentionally attract ghosts. (Most of the time, if he lingered in a place long enough, a few showed up. It was like he was a ghost-magnet or something.)

A turquoise shine broke through the shadows cast by the street lamps.

"Hello?"

The shine disappeared.

"I don't bite," Virgil joked.

Whatever was out there didn't respond.

"Uh, I've never really… summoned? A ghost before?" His voice ticked up. "I mostly just ask them to stop making stuff break in my parents' house, but they never do. Like, Stephanie, please, that's my emotional support nightlight."

The wind blew snow into his face, and a few footprints appeared.

"Run," the breeze whispered as the darkness crept forward.

"I'm not going to run," he scoffed. "What are you going to do, burn down my house again?"

As the darkness crept closer, he held his ground. Well, more like his tree, since he was sitting about six feet in the air and not really liking how high that felt at the moment.

He blinked, and suddenly, he was at the entrance, the wind whispering, "Run," to him once more.

"Can't a guy get whisked off to another plane of reality in peace?" Virgil muttered as he stormed back to his dorm room.

* * *

Virgil stepped into the hallway that led to the costume shop and froze.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Unfortunately, he had to spend 40 hours in there not counting his normal class time, so he sucked it up and walked in, preparing to ask whoever was around what still needed to be finished.

As he entered the room, a baby-faced boy with vitiligo glanced over, and Virgil's stomach _dropped._

He wasn't… good… at reading people, but the kid gave off the kind of vibes he hadn't experienced since he was 2 and his parents fled their house because something was _wrong_ and they weren't fucking with it anymore, not after his dad got a broken hand out of it.

The boy screeched at his project and angrily took a seam-ripper to it as the feeling that Virgil really needed to _run, now, get out of here_ intensified, and he wasn't one to ignore that strong of an instinct.

He never noticed the boy watching to make sure Virgil wouldn't come back.

* * *

> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 5:40 PM_
> 
> have you been by the costume shop today
> 
> _Data - Today at 5:54 PM_
> 
> Why would I be?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 5:54 PM_
> 
> idk
> 
> anyway im at the food court want me to grab you your usual
> 
> also do you have any spare protections
> 
> _Data - Today at 5:56 PM_
> 
> Sure, and no.
> 
> Why?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 5:57 PM_
> 
> k
> 
> nothing important

* * *

Virgil stared at the various stones in the shop with his phone open to Logan's message.

> _Data - Yesterday at 7:33 PM_
> 
> Sage, salt, most protection charms, and obsidian.

Virgil wasn't experienced enough to mess with protection charms ( _yet_ ), but he wasn't above buying out the local rock shop-

Never mind. He was absolutely above buying them out. That was… one expensive chunk of obsidian.

After buying a few different obsidian beads and a small chunk of the stone, he got to work fashioning what he hoped would be a stylish, yet functional necklace.

Hopefully, this didn't backfire terribly and the absolute worst that would happen is he got a few shiny rocks and a cool piece of jewelry.

… Sorry, Alissa.

* * *

_We need to talk._ A hastily-scribbled, almost illegible note in a… concerning color of ink was left on Logan's desk detailing a time and a place.

 _Who are you?_ Logan wrote back with every intent of dropping it at the meeting place.

He certainly wasn't expecting the note to write back then and there.

_I'm trying to stop you from getting killed._

Oh, they must have been looking for Virgil. _Wrong person._

The one on the other end hesitated. _Sorry, there were two desks._

_Who are you?_

_You may call me Prince._

Logan didn't think giving Prince his name was a good idea, considering the phrasing. _Why do you wish to speak to my roommate?_

_Because one of these days, J.D.-Lightful is going to get himself snatched, if not killed on the spot. Most of us don't take lightly to… people like him._

_What do you mean?_

_Do you know how many humans willingly offer themselves up now? None of them want to live in this economy. The last one I bumped into begged me to take him to get out of what, frankly, sounded like some dystopian bullshit._

_World War III?_

_World War III, forest forbid. Also, what may I call you?_

He paused. _You don't want my name?_

_Ugh, getting human names is booooooring._

Logan grinned as each "o" was drawn out in an increasingly ridiculous manner.

_Just give me something to call you._

_You may call me Specs. How do you know about the world wars?_

_Do you think this is my first century around, Specs? I lived both of the other ones._

_Oh._

_Well, as long as I've caught someone, would you still like to meet?_

_Not particularly._

_*scoff* fair enough_ , the note said with none of its usual decor.

_Has my roommate…?_

_Yes, he's tried to give me his name._

_Tried?_

_He doesn't KNOW it._

_Why wouldn't he know it?_

_I don't know????? Maybe part of it's missing?????_ Once again, the handwriting lacked its usual flair in the writer's confusion. _Maybe he's got something to learn about himself?????_

Logan's phone vibrated, pulling him out of his somehow-much-longer-than-should-be-possible conversation, considering the whole thing was written on a piece of paper no larger than an index card.

_I have to go meet up with the intended recipient of this message._

_Tell Hot Topic to stop inviting his death._

_I've been trying to._

* * *

Virgil approached the corner of the new graveyard, and the girl he was with hesitated.

"Dude, people who go there get _hurt,_ " she declared.

"I'm pretty sure someone on campus is possessed already. What's one more?" He tossed his necklace in his Anti-Bad-Ghost bag and dropped it on the ground.

Yeah, there was definitely something there, but it wasn't… _hostile._ It was just stuck.

"You know anything about making ghosts move on?"

"Nope. You?"

"Enough to know I can't." He walked even closer.

"Seriously, Virgil. Stop it."

"Hey," he murmured when the spirit lashed out. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

They lashed out again, and blood welled up on his hand.

"What's your business? Can I help?"

They didn't respond, but they didn't leave, either.

"I promise I won't laugh?" he hesitantly reassured.

They tentatively reached out, and Virgil winced at how they'd gone.

"I see."

Did he think about it, too, then?

"...Not usually."

Usually?

"Not in a while."

They hummed noncommittally.

"If it makes you feel any better… They were wrong."

And _he'd_ know?

"Yeah."

He didn't reveal any more, and they didn't pry.

"Virgil? Are you done getting yourself hurt?"

He paused, calling back, "Just a second!" To the ghost, he said, "Would you like me to come back?"

They would like that very much.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic! At The Everywhere: Actual Panic Edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy so this chapter got out of hand
> 
> changed my mind analogical is still happening but its gonna be freaking dumb gays in denial being dumb gays in denial
> 
> triggers for this chapter: lots of swearing, panic attacks + accompanying thoughts, death mentions, malfunctioning technology, the scottish play, temporarily unsympathetic deceit, ghosts, lots of supernatural shenanigans, all caps text messages, suicide mentions, anger management issues, the whole nine yards basically
> 
> [if you want summaries of what happens to cause certain warnings and/or a chapter summary, feel free to click here; everything is much vaguer, though its not in the exact order things occur in the chapter. (this leads to a google docs link)](https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Tapvhww_uc3PVOVMLKPbdsK2ZwxT6vC9xJAJLYAHDY/edit?usp=sharing)
> 
> the panic attacks/reactions depicted do not represent everyone's panic attacks and are not meant to.
> 
> this one gets heavy and personal fam be safe

Static hissed through one of the alarm systems in Virgil's room, and he screamed.

Loudly.

Three times.

Earlier, the school sent out an alert saying they were testing the emergency systems, but he thought that was just… just the text systems.

A few moments later, another alarm went off.  _ "We have entered a tornado warning. Please move to a designated shelter area." _

It was a sunny day in January outside, but that didn't stop the panic welling up inside him.

He grabbed the nearest shoes and ran barefoot down the dimly-lit stairs when the alarm stopped and the lights flicked back on. Within a few moments, the alarm started back up again.  _ "The tornado warning has been cancelled." _

He hesitantly slunk back into his room only for the static to start up and kick his fight-or-flight reflexes back into high gear.

Well, this wasn't going to be ideal. Maybe someone else knew what was going on?

(At least he hadn't screamed again. That was embarrassing.)

Virgil ran into the hall director as he walked into the lobby, and after a short conversation, determined that the alarms were just tests, one of which was malfunctioning.

He really didn't like it.

After an hour of working on his homework (why did he sign up for a class over  _ winter break? _ ), static screamed through the room again.

"Fuck," he muttered as he clamped his hands over his ears. Someone said… something… through the static, but he couldn't move his hands yet, it was too loud, too much, they were all going to die-

By the time the static stopped, he was shaking so badly he didn't think he could write out the assignment if he wanted to. He tried to stand, but he was almost glued to the floor.

Good thing his therapy was earlier in the day.

The alarm went off a few more times over the next couple of hours, each time less distorted than the last and each time sending Virgil into another panic attack.

Finally, the P.A. system rang with an ear-splitting (but at least not static-filled) screech.

_ "Testing, testing…" _ The screech died off a few moments later, and Virgil hesitantly uncovered his ears moments before it started again.

_ "This is a test. You may disregard this alert." _

Like hell he could disregard it when he was curled up in a ball and stuck sitting down because he was too afraid to… what? Stand up and set it off? That's not how any of that worked.

Virgil's stupid body didn't care how things worked. He was well and stuck sitting down for a bit longer.

He wished Logan were there. Logan would know what to do. He would at least know how to get Virgil's mind off the-

Three beeps echoed through the room.  _ "This is a final test," _ the alarm screeched once again.  _ "Please disregard this alert." _

Logan would laugh at him for being afraid of something as stupid as an alarm. It wasn't even a real alarm. It was just a test.

Stupid fear.

> _ panic! at the everywhere - Unsent _
> 
> l?

* * *

After discovering the door to the fine arts building (and the theatre inside) wasn't locked, he snuck inside and stood on the stage. He then sat down because he was about to mess with forces previously unforeseen and the ghost already in the theatre was… confused.

Virgil could handle it, right? It wasn't as if he was summoning demons this time… right? And if he made a bigger mess than he could handle out of it, well, he'd just have to learn.

You don't fuck with forces you don't know you can handle.

And with that happy thought, he said the name of the Scottish play.

Immediately, something in the auditorium space rose and pressure built in his ears. Lights all over the stage shut off except the one on him.

Virgil rose. Damned thing couldn't even come out of the shad-

He jumped back as something dropped directly in front of him and growled. Virgil hissed back.

The… person? in front of him hesitated. "Did you just fucking  _ hiss _ at me?"

"Did you just fucking  _ growl _ at me?"

"I'm the fucking Phantom of the Opera, asshole."

"Acting major?"

"What gave it away? Being  _ here _ , of all places?"

"No, the fact that you're a dramatic bitch."

"Pot, meet kettle." The dramatic bitch offered a gloved hand to Virgil.

Virgil just stared at it.

"I'm…" They winced and muttered something under their breath. "You'll never be able to pronounce it. Call me Drax."

"Like from Guardians of the Galaxy?" Virgil asked, still not taking their hand.

"...Sure, why not." Drax finally lowered their hand and seemed to let their guard down. The tension dissipated before suddenly intensifying again.

Virgil wasted no time tossing salt in a circle around them. He attributed Drax's wince to stray salt getting in their eye or something. "Sorry."

"It's fine, just… what now?" They gestured at the circle. "We stay here until someone can rescue us?"

He rolled his eyes and started expanding the salt circle to a salt path. "I'm Virgil."

"Like the poet?"

"Sure, why not?" Virgil glanced back. "You did costumes last semester, right?"

Fear flashed across their face before settling back into neutrality. "Maybe."

Hmm. "What are your pronouns?"

"Jumping around today?"

"Well?"

"Any are fine."

"Cool. I use he/him or they/them." Virgil finally got close enough to swing open the door and finish the trail. "Now run." He dashed through, disturbing the last bits of salt still blocking the path.

Drax followed with only a bit of hesitation.

* * *

> _ panic! at the everywhere has added Data, starbucks machine, and Steven!! to the group. _
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere has named the group ghost warning. _
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 11:49 AM _
> 
> stay away from the theatre for a while yall
> 
> _ Data - Today at 2:53 PM _
> 
> What happened?
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 2:54 PM _
> 
> oh you know
> 
> _ Data - Today at 2:54 PM _
> 
> I do not, in fact, know.
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 2:55 PM _
> 
> fucked around, made some friends, pissed off a ghost and doomed anyone who enters the theatre to a horrible death, ate an entire bag of almonds on my own, you know, the usual
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 2:58 PM _
> 
> WHAT
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 2:59 PM _
> 
> in my defense i was hungry
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 3:00 PM _
> 
> NOT HTAT
> 
> the rfeakin,
> 
> how did you
> 
> piss off a ghost
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 3:05 PM _
> 
> i said the bad word
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 3:07 PM _
> 
> ffs
> 
> _ Data - Today at 3:08 PM _
> 
> I've done that hundreds of times and nothing has ever happened. Are you sure you aren't just overreacting, Virge?
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 3:08 PM _
> 
> well you arent a fucking ghost whisperer
> 
> _ Data - Today at 3:09 PM _
> 
> And you are?
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere has added Phantom to ghost warning. _
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 3:10 PM _
> 
> anyway meet my new friend drax they tried to troll me
> 
> _ Phantom - Today at 3:11 PM _
> 
> Says the one who doomed us all
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 3:15 PM _
> 
> be class im in glad
> 
> *be glad im in class
> 
> _ Phantom - Today at 3:16 _
> 
> Ha
> 
> _ Steven!! - Today at 5:21 PM _
> 
> …*why*
> 
> _ Data - Today at 5:27 PM _
> 
> Ask Virgil.

* * *

> _ panic! at the everywhere - Unsent _
> 
> im not gonna fucking kill myself if thats what youre asking

It was stupid how absolutely pissed off Virgil was at what was probably just him interpreting things wrong. But in his defense, he just wanted to… what? Get kidnapped? Yeah, that didn't sound seven different kinds of fucked up, either.

He deleted the message and made himself some tea. He should probably eat, too, but he didn't have the energy to go cook.

"You're supposed to make me better," Virgil growled at the half-empty pill bottle on his desk.

(That wasn't how it worked, but he needed to do something to get out the last of his aggression.)

* * *

"I wish I could afford an exorcism," Virgil lamented as he, Drax, and Remy waited for their sweet potato fries to finish.

"Why don't you just do it yourself?" the latter suggested.

Virgil scoffed. "What college student knows how to do an exorcism?"

Drax chuckled, but Remy didn't answer.

They squinted. "Do you have something to share with the class, Rem?"

He muttered something that made them pale.

"What?" Virgil asked just before the timer went off.

"My dad was a ghost hunter!" Remy half-shouted.

Virgil waited until after he'd taken the fries out of the oven to ask, "So you do?"

"Yes, okay? I just assumed that with your skills, you'd already learned."

"I don't mind their company." He grabbed the empty pan with his bare hands, and Drax freaked out.

"He does that all the time," Remy said, rolling his eyes. "It's like he doesn't have any nerves in his hands."

"Only my fingertips," Virgil clarified as he rinsed off the pan. "Besides, it wasn't even hot."

Drax sent him a look of disbelief.

"It cooled while I was taking care of the fries!"

"Sure it did." They grabbed a fry off the pile and almost immediately dropped it. "What the hell, man?"

"I meant the pan, not the fries." He took the plate back to the table and looked at Remy expectantly. "So… ?"

"So?" he mimicked, grabbing a fry shoving it in his mouth, and immediately cursing under his breath.

"Would you mind doing me a favor?"

"What's the favor?"

"Exorcising an angry theatre ghost?"

"A hundred bucks, and you cover supplies." Remy stuck his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

Drax pulled out their phone. "I'll cover half. What's your PayPal?"

Virgil sighed and pulled out his own phone.

* * *

Logan kept trying to talk to Princey (as he'd grown to calling him) while he was out of town, but he couldn't seem to get a response. Did the paper only work within a certain range? Was it his desk that was enchanted?

After a while, he got his answer.

_ Where are you, Specs? It's taking forever to get anything. Dec. 21. _

_ I am spending my break down south, _ Logan responded.  _ December 25. _

_ Laaaaaaame. Anyway, p's on board with our next plan. x too. dec 28 _

_ Is everything okay? January 1. _

_ Yeah sorry just tired with the winter jan 3 _

_ I know you havent gotten the last one yet but your boyfriend just pissed off a really powerful spirit. jan 4 _

_ I hope you feel better soon. I don't have a boyfriend, but if you mean my roommate, he told me. January 5. _

_ Yalls friend is also apparently an exorcist now or so x says january 6 _

_ For some reason, I am not surprised. Is there an easier way for us to communicate that does not involve magical paper with varying reliability? Do you have a cell phone number or an e-mail address, perhaps? January 7. _

_ Give me like a week and i can get one why are they so fucking expensive. january 9 _

_ When you get one, please text- _ Logan included his number for the faerie. About a week later, he got a call from an unknown number.

"Specs, how do you text?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

Ah, this must be Princey. "First, navigate to your app drawer."

"...What?"

Oh. Duh. "Pull the phone away from your face and look at the screen. Toward the bottom, there should be three buttons."

"...Okay?"

"Press the middle one."

"Are you still there?"

"Yes, don't worry. Now press the big button that's directly above it."

"Okay?"

"That is your app drawer."

"Oh! That's what that is!"

Logan walked Princey through the process of saving a contact and sending a text message.

"You're a quick learner," Logan praised.

"I had a good teacher." Princey paused on the other end. "My name's Roman, by the way."

"You're not afraid I'm some technologically savvy faerie who's going to hex you?" Logan teased.

"If you wanted to, you would have by now."

After a pause, he said, "I'm Logan."

"I know." And with the lack of any farewell he'd grown to associate with Pri- Roman, the faerie hung up.

* * *

> _ Data - Today at 4:38 PM _
> 
> People think we're dating, Virgil.
> 
> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 4:39 PM _
> 
> and they were roommates
> 
> _ Data - Today at 4:39 PM _
> 
> Oh my God, they were roommates.

* * *

Virgil suddenly hummed and patted his leg, startling Remy and Drax (who decided fuck it, if they made up half of the people on campus right now, they might as well not be alone on three different floors of two different dorms) out of their respective activities.

"What's wrong?" Drax asked, used to this behaviour happening only when Virgil was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Someone thought Logan and I were dating," Virgil half-squealed.

"Wait, you aren't?" Remy asked.

"No?"

"You two are just so…" He trailed off.

"Gay," Drax finished.

"Just because we live together and hang out together and I miss him doesn't mean we're dating."

"Do you like him?" Remy teased.

Virgil thought about it. "What's that feel like?"

"Well, how do you feel about him?"

He paused again. "He scares me a lot, but I want him to be happy."

Drax facepalmed and muttered something along the lines of, "You dumbass."

"He's really nice and he doesn't get mad at me when I panic in front of him."

They and Remy shared a concerned look.

"And he at least tries to talk stuff out when there's a problem. He doesn't just yell or-"

"Virgil," Drax interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"You just described a normal human being."

He paused, his smile shifting from genuine to forced. "That's not normal, though. He's, like… really nice."

"Virgil, most people try to talk out their problems and don't get mad at people for having panic attacks."

Remy remembered too late that backing Virgil into a corner usually ended badly. "Drax, let it go."

"Who hurt you, Virgil?"

"No one fucking hurt me!" Virgil shoved past them to get out the door and ran off.

By the time Drax and Remy reached the staircase, he was gone.

* * *

> _ Princey - Today at 6:58 PM _
> 
> Your roommate's missing
> 
> _ Data - Today at 6:59 PM _
> 
> Oh, no. What happened?
> 
> _ Princey - Today at 6:59 PM _
> 
> X said he just bolted mid-conversation
> 
> _ Data - Today at 7:00 PM _
> 
> Conversation or confrontation?
> 
> _ Princey - Today at 7:00 PM _
> 
> ...yes
> 
> _ Data - Today at 7:01 PM _
> 
> Have they checked everywhere?
> 
> _ Princey - Today at 7:01 PM _
> 
> They said they did
> 
> _ Data - Today at 7:02 PM _
> 
> Has P seen them?
> 
> _ Princey - Today at 7:02 PM _
> 
> We lost contact I'll see if x can find him
> 
> _ Data - Today at 7:02 PM _
> 
> Okay.
> 
> Make sure to check the local stores as well if he remains missing. He sometimes brings back bribes when he runs off.
> 
> He doesn't like to be cornered, though. He will eventually return of his own accord.
> 
> _ Princey - Today at 7:04 PM _
> 
> Thanks we know where he is now
> 
> _ Data - Today at 7:05 PM _
> 
> You're welcome.

* * *

> _ panic! at the everywhere - Today at 8:19 PM _
> 
> theres candy for you
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 8:22 PM _
> 
> please come back
> 
> drax left once we knew you were safe

* * *

Virgil forced his voice to even out as he answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Virge? Is everything okay?"

It felt like years since he'd heard Logan's voice. "Yeah, everything's fine. With you?"

"Can you go back to the dorm room? Remy and Drax are worried."

Virgil didn't say anything.

"What happened?"

"Nothing!"

This time, Logan didn't say anything, and Virgil hung up in a sudden surge of panic.

The phone rang again, and Virgil didn't answer, opting to lock himself in the bathroom and watch the notification fade from his screen.

* * *

The door opened, and Virgil peeked in hesitantly.

"Virgil!" Remy grinned, offering a hug and immediately regretting it when the boy ducked out the door. "Wait, please come back!"

This time, Virgil paused awkwardly outside the door.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded.

"Do you want to come in?"

He paused before nodding again.

"Okay."

After a few minutes, Remy asked, Would you like something to eat?"

Virgil shook his head.

"What about tea?"

He shook his head again.

"Okay. If you need anything, just let me know."

He tried to smile reassuringly, but after another few minutes of silence, Remy suddenly glanced up.

Too fast.

Virgil flinched and almost chucked his phone.

"Sorry! Sorry. Uh… Weird question, but can you talk right now?"

He opened his mouth and hesitantly shook his head.

"Oh." Remy thought a moment. "Do you know sign language?"

Another shake.

"That's okay. If you need anything, text me and I'll see what I can do, okay?"

A thumbs-up.

"Okay."

* * *

> _ starbucks machine - Today at 11:26 PM _
> 
> is he usually this quiet
> 
> _ Data - Today at 11:27 PM _
> 
> How quiet?
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 11:27 PM _
> 
> he hasnt said anything since he got back
> 
> _ Data - Today at 12:28 PM _
> 
> Ah, I see.
> 
> Is he tired or nonverbal?
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 12:30 PM _
> 
> nonverbal i think
> 
> is this a thing he does?
> 
> _ Data - Today at 12:31 PM _
> 
> Yes.
> 
> _ starbucks machine - Today at 12:31 PM _
> 
> what do i do to help him
> 
> _ Data - Today at 12:32 PM _
> 
> For the most part, just let him be. He will calm down on his own.
> 
> Also, please do not "yell at him" if he starts to hum or snap, regardless of whether he asks you to do so.
> 
> He may click his fidget if he can find it as well.
> 
> _ starbucks machine - 12:33 PM _
> 
> so be gentle gotcha
> 
> thanks
> 
> _ Data - Today at 12:34 PM _
> 
> No problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire fic be like  
> virgil: *does something reckless and impulsive*  
> everyone: ...why
> 
> anyway trigger warnings: the usual + aggression (mostly verbal), blood, self-harm implications (both past and current), the flight part of fight or flight, kidnapping, cult mention, murder threats, use of the q word towards oneself, oh lordy theres a lot and ive probably missed something this document is 15 pages and i JUST wrote up the tws whoops
> 
> this is such a mess and i didnt even hit the point i wanted to in this chap. anyway hope you enjoy this gets more and more off track as i go

Virgil turned down the music as Logan unpacked the suitcase. "Need some help?"

"I leave for one month," he announced.

Virgil immediately started twirling his hair. "Yeah, I wasn't sure about the purple, but-"

"You managed to anger a powerful enough spirit that you needed _Remy,_ of all people, to perform an exorcism."

"He volunteered?"

"You're _still_ courting a dangerous being you met in a graveyard who forcibly removes you on a regular basis."

"Maybe they're just lonely. They don't seem hostile."

"You're obviously still consorting with the Fae."

"And _failing._ "

"And you trapped yourself with a demon without being injured."

Virgil paused. "Logan, I haven't done anything with demons."

"You've been associating regularly with one, it seems."

"I haven't talked with anyone outside the group chat except the graveyard spirits, and I'm pretty sure I'd know if one of them was a demon."

"Princey says the demon he's in contact with has spoken to you on a regular basis recently."

Some kind of… emotion thingy… welled up inside Virgil. "And how would 'Princey' know?" he asked, trying to keep whatever he was feeling out of it. (Logan could talk to people. Logan was an adult. Logan didn't need to put up with Virgil's clingy bull- … fuck it, there was no better way to word that.)

Unfortunately, the way Logan froze up made the feeling intensify.

After a few seconds, Virgil nodded. "Congratulations. Still doesn't explain how he knows anything about my personal life."

"Congratulations on what?"

"Your new partner." He paused, trying to filter out all the mean things that came to mind, but every time one was banished to the depths of The Box, a worse one replaced it.

"It's not like that," Logan said after what felt like hours.

"Okay." Virgil shook his head, trying to clear the snap from his voice. "I need to get dinner. I'll be back. Have fun with Emile."

* * *

> _starbucks machine - Today at 11:42 PM_
> 
> you mind trading roommates for a night?
> 
> nothing against you but right now is not a good time for you two to be around each other
> 
> or for him to be around you
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:45 PM_
> 
> That's fine. What happened?
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 11:45 PM_
> 
> he wont talk abt it but im pretty sure hes afraid youre gonna leave him
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:46 PM_
> 
> That's absurd. He's my best friend.
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 11:46 PM_
> 
> …
> 
> hoo boy do yall have something to talk out
> 
> _Data - Today at 11:47 PM_
> 
> What does that mean?
> 
> Remy?
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 11:51 PM_
> 
> if you could have any kind of relationship with virgil
> 
> what would it be?

* * *

> _starbucks machine has added panic! at the everywhere, Steven!!, and Phantom to the group._
> 
> _starbucks machine has named the group matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a maaatch~_
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 12:01 AM_
> 
> whats the tea emile
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 12:03 AM_
> 
> logan blushed when you sent him that!!
> 
> uhh
> 
> i don't think he knows himself, honestly
> 
> he knows he doesn't want virgil to be mad at him
> 
> i thiiink? virgil at LEAST has a shot
> 
> _Phantom - Today at 12:09 AM_
> 
> FOr fucks sake weve determined that theyre both stupid when it comes to emotions you can make a better guess than that
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 12:11 AM_
> 
> i know virgil at least has a shot
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - today at 12:11 AM_
> 
> whos princey
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 12:11 AM_
> 
> i am NOT asking that because it's not my business!!!
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 12:12 AM_
> 
> i think if theyve been spying on me i have a right to know who they are

* * *

Xogdroxoth yelped and dropped the phone from where they and Patton were hanging out.

"What's wrong?" he asked, gingerly handing the phone back.

Xogdroxoth rolled their eyes and snatched it. "You can hold it harder than that."

"I don't want to break it."

"You won't."

"It looks so… fragile."

"If I can drop it off a three-story building without it breaking, you should be able to hold-" They glared at the cracked screen protector. "... it."

He slunk slightly back into the fog. "I didn't mean to."

"You didn't. It's just the protector, too." They peeled it off and stuck it in their pocket. "Probably weakened from the time I dropped it off a three-story building."

"So, what's wrong?"

Right. Enhanced empathy. Stupid humans and their ability to tell what the others are feeling. "Kid's found out about the prince."

"Yeah?"

"Specifically, that L's talking to R."

"And?- Oh. _Oh._ "

They popped their tongue. "Yeah."

"Do you think…?"

"Their relationship is _doomed_ and we're all going to _die_ because a kid with more power than he realizes and a witch are going to bring about the apocalypse."

Patton rolled his eyes. "I ask for help _one time_."

* * *

Virgil stormed out of the room with a suspiciously large Ikea bag, glanced up, and immediately ran the other way.

Odd, but not exactly out of place.

What was out of place was the suspicious lack of… a complete and utter mess. Sure, most of Virgil's remaining belongings were piled in a corner underneath his desk, but-

Oh, not _again._

> _Data - Today at 4:53 PM_
> 
> Virgil?
> 
> **Your message could not be sent.**
> 
> Virgil
> 
> **Your message could not be sent.**
> 
> Test
> 
> **Your message could not be sent.**
> 
> _Data - Today at 4:55 PM_
> 
> Connection test
> 
> **Your message could not be sent.**
> 
> Damn it, Virgil.
> 
> **Your message could not be sent.**

Of course Virgil would ghost him at the slightest sign of conflict. He didn't have a habit of sticking around to deal with his problems, and that was assuming he acknowledged them at all.

To be fair, though, Logan forgot the circumstances of his and Roman's meeting. While it wasn't every day one found themself conversing with a faerie their roommate was antagonizing, it was pretty much every day he and the prince gossipped about Virgil.

But at this point, how could he explain? _Oh, hey, I've been casually associating with the same creatures you wish to acquire a slow and painful death from. It's not a big deal._ Yeah, okay.

Virgil had a tendency to run from his problems.

Why did this time feel different? … Why did this time feel worse?

* * *

_[ghost warning]_

> _Data - Today at 9:05 PM_
> 
> Virgil, I would greatly appreciate being unblocked. I understand that you do not wish to speak with me or be around me, and I am willing to respect that; however, I would rather the channel be open in case of emergency.
> 
> Also so I can make sure your textbooks and other necessary items you left here get to the right person. I do not have to bring it to you, but it would be much easier if we were all able to coordinate who to have deliver the items when.
> 
> That is not to say you are not welcome to return at your leisure. I simply want you to do what feels safest and most comfortable, and if you are not comfortable returning to the dorm, I understand.
> 
> I would also like to explain myself a bit.
> 
> _Phantom - Today at 9:08 PM_
> 
> [Screenshot of above text]
> 
> Also this part I think I'm better off explaining
> 
> Logan and princey and I have been hanging out
> 
> Princeys one of my friends and L bumped into us while we were chillin
> 
> Theyre not dating
> 
> Princeys like a dad to us lmao
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:12 PM_
> 
> Yes, Princey is a friend and nothing more. We occasionally get coffee and stargaze.
> 
> If you wish to meet him, I can see if he's willing to join this chat?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 9:15 PM_
> 
> Yeah, sure. Whatever. You're unblocked, but can we wait on this?
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 9:17 PM_
> 
> oh my god he can punctuate
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 9:17 PM_
> 
> remy, please leave him alone
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 9:18 PM_
> 
> we just learned virgils a switch what do you expect us to do
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere has left the chat._
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 9:20 PM_
> 
> now look what you did.
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 9:20 PM_
> 
> what did i do???
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:23 PM_
> 
> Virgil is skittish on a good day.
> 
> Today is not a good day.

* * *

Throughout the week, various items went mysteriously missing from Virgil's side of the room.

Logan waited.

* * *

> _Steven!! has added panic! at the everywhere to ghost warning._
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 10:18 AM_
> 
> virgil!
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 10:35 AM_
> 
> yeah hi
> 
> figured i should let yall know im staying with my parents rn so if im not around campus as much thats why
> 
> gonna mute this chat and idk when ill check it but fyi i dont hate you, its nothing personal, just need space
> 
> if its an emergency ping me
> 
> _Phantom - Today at 10:47 PM_
> 
> I'm probably late but I hope everythings going well
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 4:17 PM_
> 
> dont worry its good

* * *

It was not, in fact, good.

Virgil's dad wasn't a bad person or anything, and it wasn't like either of them wanted conflict.

But as much as he cared about his family, he hated the way they treated him.

He just needed a break from Logan, but his dad acted like he was dropping out of college. Being misgendered on a regular basis sucked, and he couldn't go to any of his therapy sessions or doctor's appointments. (Or continue taking any of the medications he sort of needed to function. Or visibly have any form of health issue, be it physical or mental.)

(...Maybe his dad wasn't as nice as he liked to think.)

But it was worth it to see his little sister smile every time he brought back a treat or let his other little sister grab his hand. It was worth it to know his brother and his mom and his sisters were safe. It was worth it.

Until one day… it wasn't.

Virgil wasn't completely sure what happened. His dad was mad about… something? And the next thing he knew, he was sitting in the half-melted slush and calling Logan.

"Hello, Virgil?"

"Can't talk," he whispered.

"Okay. Would you like me to stay on the line, or should I hang up?"

"Stay."

"Okay. Are you okay?"

 _idk_ , he typed out as he plugged in his earbuds. Might as well make this easier.

"What happened?"

_idk_

"Are you safe?"

_think so_

"Would you just like some company?"

 _yes_. After a few minutes, Virgil calmed down enough to type out a quick _sorry_.

"I was wondering if there was a reason for your call?"

Oh, right, Logan had class on Fridays.

"Not to shoo you away. I was simply wondering."

_its fine if you have class go to it_

"My next class actually got cancelled. I have time to talk."

_is it ok if i come back_

"Of course. When do you plan on returning?"

_if its inconvenient i can stay away_

"It's not inconvenient."

_really its not a big deal im just tired of my dad_

"You don't often talk about your father unless it's to specify _his_ things from _your_ things."

_seriously its good_

"Would you like to return or not?"

After a pause, Virgil typed out _yes._

"Okay. Would you like me to wait for you?"

_no_

"Okay."

_i am going to head out now_

"Okay. Goodbye, Virgil."

_cya_

And with that, Virgil went back inside, grabbed his bag, and snuck out before his father could notice.

* * *

> _Phantom has added Data, Princey, and P to the group._
> 
> _Phantom has named the group Protect Virgil Squad_
> 
> _P - Today at 9:45 PM_
> 
> is this why you brought me a phone, princey?
> 
> _Princey - Today at 9:46 PM_
> 
> I'm surprised you knew how to use it
> 
> _P - Today at 9:46 PM_
> 
> i'm a vampire, not a boomer.
> 
> _Phantom - Today at 9:47 PM_
> 
> jaldf;ldhlgkjdf
> 
> Oh my GOD patton
> 
> _P - Today at 9:47 PM_
> 
> as i said, i'm not a boomer
> 
> _Princey - Today at 9:47 PM_
> 
> There's too many p names in here i don't like it
> 
> _Princey has changed their name to Roman._
> 
> _Roman - Today at 9:48 PM_
> 
> Now one of you change your name
> 
> _Phantom has changed their name to X._
> 
> _X - Today at 9:49 PM_
> 
> Are you happy now
> 
> _Roman - Today at 9:48 PM_
> 
> Yes very
> 
> Anyway emo nightmare would have gotten himself nabbed if i hadnt been there to stop him AGAIN
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:50 PM_
> 
> I believe that may have been unintentional if it occurred roughly 20 minutes ago.
> 
> _Roman - Today at 9:51 PM_
> 
> oh
> 
> Still he needs to stop
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:51 PM_
> 
> He has also requested to meet you.
> 
> _Roman - Today at 9:51 PM_
> 
> Then I'll need to change my name again
> 
> _Roman has changed their name to Fairy Tale._
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:52 PM_
> 
> Because that's not subtle at all.
> 
> _Fairy Tale - Today at 9:53 PM_
> 
> Shut up hes enough of an idiot to not notice
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:53 PM_
> 
> On that note, I have dinner to make.
> 
> _X - Today at 9:53 PM_
> 
> oooh you insulted his cruuuush~
> 
> _Data has left the chat._
> 
> _X - Today at 9:54 PM_
> 
> JSDHFLKJSDHF I'M SCREAMING

* * *

Logan didn't have a crush on Virgil. He just needed… extra care? Not that he couldn't take care of himself; left unattended, he at least did basic tasks as needed.

He was just also an anxious idiot who needed to stop using insensitive jokes and emotional repression as a replacement for therapy.

So as much as Logan wasn't equipped nor in the mood to deal with a panicked Virgil, he wasn't going to make him stay in a possibly hostile environment.

(Remy once said his relationship with Virgil seemed very one-sided; Virgil would break down, and Logan would help. Logan didn't quite see it that way. Virgil's support group consisted of maybe five people; if you only counted people he actually talked to, that dropped to 2 or 3, maximum. Logan didn't have many more friends, but he at least trusted them enough to confide in them.)

So when Virgil slunk into the room, dropped his bag, and half-flopped, half-jumped into the bed, Logan was quite content to let whatever needed to happen there… happen. If it warranted talking about, Virgil would talk about it.

Hopefully.

* * *

Virgil didn't talk about it, but he still wasn't spending a whole lot of time actually communicating, either. He'd pop into the group chat once in a while, and he wasn't actively avoiding Logan anymore, but he spent most of his time in the dorm sleeping.

At least he was still seeing going to classes?

* * *

One night, Virgil didn't come back, but something felt wrong. Everything was in its… place… except Virgil.

(Logan wasn't completely sure that everything was in its place, but it at least looked like it was. The piles were their usual size, only a bag Virgil would take to class was missing, and his closet seemed mostly undisturbed.)

Logan didn't worry too much, though.

(He didn't sleep much that night.)

* * *

> _Data has added Fairy Tale to ghost warning._
> 
> _Data has renamed the chat Basically Everyone._
> 
> _X - Today at 7:36 PM_
> 
> heya princey ;)
> 
> _Fairy Tale - Today at 7:37 PM_
> 
> If you ever emoji wink at me ever again i will personally curse your bloodline
> 
> _X - Today at 7:37 PM_
> 
> Hard to do when you dont have blood
> 
> _Data - Today at 7:37 PM_
> 
> I don't have time to put up with your cryptic bullshit today.
> 
> @panic! at the everywhere
> 
> _Fairy Tale - Today at 7:38 PM_
> 
> @panic! at the everywhere
> 
> _X - Today at 7:38 PM_
> 
> @panic! at the everywhere
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 7:38 PM_
> 
> @panic! at the everywhere
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 7:42 PM_
> 
> @panic! at the everywhere
> 
> why are we @ ing virgil
> 
> _Fairy Tale - Today at 7:45 PM_
> 
> Idk i was told it was urgent that one of us find him?
> 
> _Data - Today at 7:49 PM_
> 
> He has been missing for 29 hours and did not go to either of our shared classes today.
> 
> While I would involve the police in many other situations, I feel with his… situation… this is unwise.
> 
> _starbucks machine - Today at 7:51 PM_
> 
> wait what situation
> 
> _Data - Today at 7:51 PM_
> 
> Wait, did you, of all people, not know?
> 
> He's some kind of magic.
> 
> And regularly taunts LITERAL MAGICAL BEINGS to get out of this plane of existence.
> 
> _X - Today at 7:51 PM_
> 
> he literally radiates fuckin magic bro. hes human but he sure aint FULLY human
> 
> _Fairy Tale - Today at 7:56 PM_
> 
> It's likely that something magical runs in his bloodline. I don't sense much on his family, so it's either on his biological mother's side or only surfaces every so often.
> 
> Or he could be adopted, but with his family's tendency toward clairvoyance, I'm hesitant to assume that right off the bat.
> 
> _starbucks remy - Today at 7:56 PM_
> 
> ok but what does this have to do with the fact that hes missing
> 
> _Data - Today at 7:57 PM_
> 
> He may have been successful in his quest to get kidnapped.
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 7:59 PM_
> 
> …
> 
> is he ok???
> 
> _Data - Today at 7:59 PM_
> 
> I hope so.

* * *

Virgil didn't try to get kidnapped this time, per se.

He shouldn't have even gotten kidnapped in this area. It was the rich side of town! There were things like a semi-decent police force-

Okay, yeah, he should never have walked through this side of town. He was white and could pass as straight on a good day… but not in platform heels, purple hair, _and_ walking straight (ha) home from a gay bar.

And he probably _could_ have fought off one or two people if they were unarmed. He wasn't larger than them, but he was taller and had plenty of things on himself he could weaponize.

But fighting off seven buff people wasn't going to happen, so the moment they approached, he made himself look smaller and surrendered.

(They couldn't really hurt him worse than anyone else.)

He honestly didn't remember much more than that. He tried to remember streets and directions, but after a while, it was clear they were driving in circles and he gave up.

Virgil shut off his phone in the hopes that if it didn't go off (even on accident), they wouldn't search him for it. He didn't need to be tracked, really. It would just hurt more people in the long run.

After what felt like an hour of driving aimlessly (but a glance at the clock revealed to be about fifteen minutes), Virgil grumbled, "If you're gonna kill me, just kill me already."

One of the people actually looked confused. "Why would we kill you?"

Virgil gestured at himself, and when their confused looks didn't dissipate, he stated, "I'm queer?"

"Yeah, we really don't care what you do in your private life."

It was his turn to be confused. "Then what do you want?"

"We need some blood, but one, none of us are virgins, and two, our parents are going to _kill_ us if they ever see."

Virgil glanced at the barely-there scars on his arms, and one of the people (Virgil decided to call them Kyle. They looked like a Kyle) shrunk into themself. "If that's okay."

"What are you doing with the blood? I can't donate to, like, a blood drive, if that's what you need."

One of Kyle's friends (now dubbed Gerald) hummed. "Uh, magic?"

"Oh, sweet. Can I join?"

All seven of them held the exact same look of confusion.

"I love magic," Virgil clarified. "I've pissed off a ghost or two and might have accidentally hung out with a demon."

"Cool!" someone (Frankie) chirped. "Which one?"

"Uh. That's a good question." Virgil really didn't know.

Kyle, who seemed to be the official ringleader, chimed in, "How can you hang out with demons and not know which one?"

"Same way I thought a coyote with red eyes wasn't a stray fae until after I got scared out of the fairy ring."

The group looked at him with wide eyes.

"I'm _really_ stupid." Virgil grinned. "Anyway, if you let me join you, I'm in."

They cheered.

* * *

> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 9:26 AM_
> 
> yo sorry might have joined a cult
> 
> _Data is typing…_
> 
> _X - Today at 9:28 AM_
> 
> ooh youre in trouble~
> 
> _Fairy Tale - Today at 9:28 AM_
> 
> Shut up I want to see what this says
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:33 AM_
> 
> We were all worried sick about you! You have been missing for not one, not two, not even three, but TEN days! You simply vanished one night, never to be seen again! I thought you got kidnapped! And now you've gone and _joined a cult?_ Do you know how dangerous that is? Actually, do you know how stupid you are for joining what you KNOW is a cult? You have missed over a week of classes, and the only reason anyone has notes for you is because we spent the past week covering your ass and telling people you were sick because we thought you got KIDNAPPED BY A FAERIE COURT. Do you know how worried we were? Princey couldn't find you through any of his contacts, Drax and Remy couldn't track you, and the only lead we had was Patton telling us you stopped by the graveyard on Thursday night! Which, by the way, you need to stop doing; what if Patton was a less stable or more aggressive person? You could have been kidnapped or killed by him alone hundreds of times. Do you ever think about your actions? Do you ever wonder what your disappearance would do to the people in this community? It may not be the safest community, but your disappearance could start rumors of another kidnapping ring around campus. And if you're successful, do you know what would happen on campus? We've had notice of two people dying on campus recently. Would you enjoy that number increasing to three or more? Is this your goal? To kill yourself? Do you know how that would affect the people around you? I'm fully aware you don't think you're worthy of love, but you need to get your shit in order for once in your fucking life and start realizing that your actions have consequences. There are people that fucking care about you. There are people here who would miss you. So stop disappearing on a whim and returning with nothing but a snarky comment and empty promises, you fucking asshole.
> 
> _Steven!! - Today at 9:35 AM_
> 
> that was a ride
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:38 AM_
> 
> My apologies, that was very emotionally charged.
> 
> _Fairy Tale - Today at 9:39 AM_
> 
> It was also well-deserved, if my memory serves me correctly.
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:41 AM_
> 
> While we were all worried about you, your safety is paramount in this situation. Are you safe? Have you been eating? Are you taken care of? Are you cared for where you are?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 9:42 AM_
> 
> arent you supposed to be in class
> 
> anyway yes to all of the above. rich kids are wild and have food im not allergic to its so fun
> 
> also ive consented to everything except the initial kidnapping and even then they felt bad so its chill idrc
> 
> and i feel like it probably hasnt actually hit cult status yet but it gives off cult vibes so
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:47 AM_
> 
> I didn't go to my current class today.
> 
> Are you able to tell us where you are?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 9:48 AM_
> 
> i can but id rather not give you specifics? no offense but i dont want any murder on my behalf and theyre pretty easy to find
> 
> anyway im with a few of the rich kids on that side of town. theyre gonna drive me back after school tonight, they just had a big break so we've been on an adventure.
> 
> they really dont know anything about demon summoning safety btw. cant believe im a babysitter here
> 
> theyre actually pretty chill and after the initial demon summoning failed we basically went fuck it and have just been messing around with mildly cursed objects.
> 
> magic is so fucking common lmao
> 
> _Data - Today at 9:51 AM_
> 
> Nice.
> 
> I do have to go to my next class, though. I'll see you tonight?
> 
> _panic! at the everywhere - Today at 9:51 AM_
> 
> sure cya

* * *

Logan turned to Remy. "I'm going to kill him."

Remy glanced up from his phone and chuckled. "No, you aren't."

"No, I'm not," Logan agreed, "but I'd like to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plEASE tell me if i missed a major tw that isnt like. the usual bullshit of this story. i will gladly tag/warn for it im just Big Dumb and miss obvious things, please stay safe your safety is very important
> 
> hell even if its not a major tw ill tag/warn, feel free to ask worst that can happen is i forget again and thats 100% on me


End file.
